You've Gotta Have Heart

Testing positive on a stress test at 42 can make you think a lot about heart...singing things like, "Lord, I give You my heart" seem more personal...saying things like, "that broke my heart" becomes eye-opening. The bottom line: the life is in the blood and you have gotta have heart. You cannot live with a broken heart. Time won't heal it. Life is funny like that. Time can do nothing but be spent. But the time of friends and family and caring doctors can sometimes do what is needed to bring healing. I think that is actually called love.

So what is the root of a broken heart. Someone I adore said, 'in the end, men's hearts will fail them because of fear." OK, Al, Lisa, all of you. You tried to tell me to "fear not, laugh more, move on, do what I dream of." I have sat here in this green chair for a week and a half being tossed about by doctors, blue cross, well meaning friends with theories, five prescriptions for various drugs (which I have not filled because they are only GUESSES) and my own brain... thinking...a lot. And I think you are right. I'll take your challenge and raise you 10. Bet I can grow up and face the giants and even be nice about it.

When you have this much time to think and look around you realize many things; this floor is really dusty, the whole room is dusty, we never finished touching up the ceiling paint, we touch the wood around the mantle a lot, and what I really care about are the only things I will ever take with me. My husband and life long friend, these incredible girls and life long friends, and my life long friends.

So here I am...here we all are. let's fall in love with life again!